The Cons of a Vacation
by Queen High Rolla
Summary: Evolution getting stuck together on a boat is never pretty....


The Cons of a vacation  
  
Story Rating: PG  
  
Characters: Dave Bautista, Paul Levesque, Randy Orton, Ric Fleihr Summary: Evolution is forced to go to an exotic island together...(this is what happens when I get too much free time) Disclaimer: I own nobody (not even Bautista), except the captain (if you want to get technical). All people are owned by themselves and character names are owned by the WWE  
  
It was late afternoon, and the sun was blazing at its strongest. Paul Levesque moaned, blocking the glowing white sphere from his eyes with a massive hand.  
"Ugh, I hate the sun," he complained.  
"Why? You do have sunglasses on, afterall," Randy Orton said. Paul didn't reply; he just groaned. Randy, concerned, got up out of his lounge chair and leaned directly over Paul, looking down on him.  
"I think I liked the sun better."  
"Ha-ha. Look at you, you're burning to a crisp," he poked at Paul's strong shoulder and watched as the skin turned a pale white and then back to dark red. "Hmm, perhaps you need some....suntan lotion?" He asked, producing a bottle from behind his back.  
"Where'd you get that out from? Wait, maybe I don't wanna know."  
"I had it with me in my hand. I was just holding it behind my back."  
"Oh."  
"Do you wanna use some?"  
"No; I hate the smell of suntan lotion."  
"Fine, be a hardhead. You'll look really great for the shoot, all black and stuff."  
"Give it to me, then!" Randy chucked him the bottle.  
"Hey! It's half empty!" He exclaimed  
"Pessimist," Randy replied, eyes narrowing at Paul's rudeness.  
"Pessimist? How am I a pessimist?"  
"It would be half full if you weren't."  
"Either way, you still used half of it!"  
"Take it or leave it." Paul decided that he couldn't win this battle, so he unflipped the cap and squirted some of the lotion into his huge palm. Once he was finished, he threw the bottle back to Randy.  
"Thanks. Anybody else want some?" He shook the bottle distractingly. "Ric?"  
"Nah, that's alright," Ric Fleihr replied. He had been lounging comfortably, trying to obtain a natural tan. "I already brought some with me."  
"Dave?"  
Dave Bautista looked up from the book he had been reading. He hadn't heard the question, but Randy shaking the bottle around was a good enough indicator.  
"No thanks. I have my own," and he went back to reading.  
"Wait a sec, you all brought lotion? So Paul was the only one who didn't?" Randy eyed Paul guiltily.  
"This trip was so last minute, so don't blame me!" That much was true. The trip...how had they been forced into this? Vince McMahon thought that it would be a good idea if Evolution, the group the foursome played on television, got a little break so that the fans wouldn't tire of them, So, he wrote up a storyline in which they were suspended for three weeks. He thought that during this time, it would be good to check in on the group during their suspension and decided that since they had such an extravagant lifestyle on-screen, that they could be shown vacationing on some expensive, exotic island. Paul had disagreed wholly with this, but Vince couldn't get enough of his so-called "brilliant idea". Paul had even suggested making a fake island set, but that hadn't gone well....and the rest is history. Here they were, four men who despised each other in real life, going to some island they couldn't even pronounce the name of. Oh well, at least they'd all get two weeks off as a reward for putting up with this. "Don't worry, Paul, I'm sure they'll have some sunblock on the island," Ric said upon seeing the look of discontentment on Paul's face. "Yeah..." "So where are we going again?" Randy attempted to stir up trouble "You know that nobody knows how to pronounce the name, Rand," Dave spoke up. "Somebody should try." "Oh, shut up, would ya?" "You two, stop it, I can't—"Dave began, then instantly stopped as the cruise ship viciously shook. "Wha-what was that?" "I dunno," Randy whispered. Just then, all four men jumped in shock, frightened by the big, booming voice of the captain coming from the loudspeaker. "Attention passengers, it appears that we've hit something...it seems to be a large, previously undetected rock just barely protruding out of the water. Um, it also appears that we're sinking..." Crackles, but no more from the captain. "WHAT?!" All four men screamed simultaneously. "I'm too young to DIE!" Randy panicked. "Calm down," Dave put his hand on Randy's sweaty shoulder. At that, he quickly moved his hand away. "Nobody's gonna die." "We will if we don't do something!" Paul yelled, allowing more fear to enter his voice than he preferred. "Look! Lifeboats!" Ric said, pointing over the white railing that was glistening from being painted a while back. "Yay! We won't die!" Dave shook his head in disgust. "Let's go!" Paul commanded. With that, all four of them started to look for a way to get closer to the lifeboats. "Guys, we're gonna havta jump," Ric stated, swallowing hard. "The railing?" "Yes, moron! The railing!" Paul shrieked. "Okay, okay.....who first?" "You!" Paul shoved Randy over the shiny railing with all of his strength. The younger man screamed fearfully, but made it down to the lifeboat okay. "Me next," Paul jumped in, following Randy just much more quietly. Ric slowly looked to Dave, as if in approval to go next. "Uh-huh, sure." Ric nodded his head as thanks and leapt as well. However, somehow he messed up his jump, just barely landing, and shoved the lifeboat away from the dock.  
"Sorry!" He called to Dave.  
"Dave's gonna die," Randy said in a sing-song voice. Paul ignored him.  
"Dave! You gotta jump, man!"  
"I might miss!"  
"Don't land on me!"  
"You gotta try anyway!"  
"Okay! Here I come!" Dave backed up a bit, ran and jumped. His massive hands grasped the boat so hard that his knuckles turned white. With the strength of all three men, they just managed to pull him in.  
  
"I'm hungry," Paul said, agitated.  
"We're gonna die here."  
"No, we're not."  
"Why not, Dave? We have no food, no water-we're goners."  
"I wonder how far from the island we are?" Ric asked, almost as an afterthought.  
"Too far to swim, if that's what ya were thinkin'."  
"I know that."  
"Now what, guys?"  
"We wait until we see land."  
Waiting was the only option that they had, so wait was what they did. They wound up spending the remainder of that day and the entire night cramped up on that tiny lifeboat, without any food or water.  
"Look! Land!" Randy said joyfully that morning. In that joy, he hardly noticed that his jumping was tipping the boat.  
"Randy!" Paul scolded. "Stop! You're...," but it was too late; he tipped over the boat. A long moment later and four disgruntled heads popped out of the cerulean waves, choking and sputtering. "I told you!"  
"Sorry! But it's okay, Paul. The boat's right there, and then land's real close as well." Then, as if Randy had just cast a curse, a gigantic wave rose high and consumed them and the puny lifeboat. Paul popped up first after a few seconds of being caught under the tide and asked: "Is everybody okay?"  
"Yeah," Ric was the next to come up. Dave did too, but didn't answer.  
"Where's Randy?" Now he said something.  
"Aw, man! Somebody's gotta help him..."  
"I'll do it."  
Despite this predicament, Paul smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Dave," but before he could get the words out, Dave had dove down to rescue Randy.  
"Hey, can Randy swim?"  
"He better be able to."  
  
A long moment passed, and still no sign of Dave. Paul and Ric were getting worried.  
"Is he okay?" Paul didn't answer because he didn't know what to say. Suddenly, Dave came up with Randy, who was coughing loudly.  
"You're okay!"  
"Of course I am! I never knew you cared!"  
"I wasn't talking to you, Randy."  
"I'm fine."  
"Good," Ric answered.  
"Hey guys? Why did the island move?" Randy asked, puzzled.  
"That's not an island....that's a boat!" Even Dave sounded excited at the chance of getting out of here.  
"Quick! SOS, you guys! SOS!"  
"Outta what?"  
"Your arms."  
"And drown? No thanks." So instead, they all just yelled and screamed really loudly, and occasionally waved their arms. The boat continued to smoothly sail the waters...until it stopped.  
  
"And on a funny note, four professional WWE wrestlers, known to fans as Evolution: Triple H, Batista, Ric Flair, and Randy Orton were all rescued after their cruise ship sunk," a newscaster reported.  
"Yay! We're on the news!" Randy smiled triumphantly.  
"And alive, too," Dave threw in.  
"I knew all along that we wouldn't die," Randy lied.  
"Sure ya did," Paul said, smiling. 


End file.
